4 Childhood Staples For Michael Bay to Destroy...

In light of all the news lately about Michael "Whats Wrong With Hollywood" Bay's upcoming reboot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, most notably the leaked script that makes it sound even worse than I anticipated, I've compiled a quick list of childhood shows for him to destroy. He seems to love doing that, what with Transformers and Ninja Turtles (I didn't even watch either of those shows as a kid and I'm PO'd by the movies), so I'm gonna call what's next on his hit list. Heads up, Avatar: the Last Airbender is not present because M. "I Peaked after two movies" Night Shamylan beat him to that punch (that show WAS my childhood you jackass!) Also, there's only four on here because by the time Bay's done with these, he'll be able to retire.

Power Rangers

It makes sense: the mindless explosions, poorly choreographed fighting, huge monsters, and racism (ever notice how the black ranger was always played by an African American?) Bay dreams about is already there! To him, the movies' already taken care of! And if you think I just destroyed your childhood with that opener, I watched it when I too when I was six.

Pokemon

Plenty of people loved Transformers as kids, absurd amounts of people loved the Ninja Turtles, but at one point during out youth, we all loved Pokemon. So I'm guessing that's it's pretty high up on Bay's "To Axe" list. I'll probably have nightmares about Ash as a high school senior being played by Shia Laboeuf, walking around with a 30 story CGI Pikachu voiced by Mr T, and everyone's lips will keep moving after they're done talking.

My Little Pony

Done destroying the childhoods of little boys, Bay decides to crush the souls of anyone who was a little girl ten years ago with 2 hours of giant CGI ponies rampaging through Manhattan destroying everything in sight, breathing fire and pooping exploding rainbows.

Thomas the Tank Engine

If this ever actually happen, my dislike for Bay will grow into a full on hatred. I do not want the first TV show I was ever obsessed with and brought me endless comfort as a child destroyed by Bay having some random actor ride a big blue talking train into a battle against... Bizarro-versions of Thomas, Henry, and Percy headed by Sir Topem' Hat who's evil in this movie (then again, I'm not sure if even Bay can film action sequences entirely on train tracks...). And instead of Ringo Starr narrating, he'd have it be the guy who voiced Jar Jar Binks! In all serious, if anything like this surfaces, I'll personally run Bay over with a train!

So there you have it, Michael Bay's career plans for the next twenty years. If it seems like I'm hating a bit, school starts soon, I really needed to expel some negative energy.

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Fall Movie Preview

Alright, the Summer movie season is pretty much out the door at this point, so it's time to look ahead  in the movie-land. As usual, I'll only be dealing with the movies I plan seeing and covering. We'll go in order by month.

September

A quick note: a did think about including The Words here, but I'm never gonna be able to get anyone  I know to see it with me, and I'm not old and creepy enough to sit in a theater by myself, so it's kind of not an option, which is sad because september is pretty slim pickings this month.

Looper:

Release Date: September 27

Is there a lot of possibility for this to suck? Yes, but there's also plenty of possibility for the movie to do something with time travel that Hollywood has yet to do. And for that we need a solid story and some great performances, which director Rian Johnson and stars Joseph "Nightwing" Gordon-Levitt, Emily Blunt, and Bruce Willis all seem to be promising. At the very least, this is the only really decent looking thing to come out in September. Not saying much, I know, but I'll still give it a go.

October

Cloud Atlas
Release Date: October 26

Once again, plenty of ways this could go, and here's hoping it'll go well. The premise is intriguing, the cast is great, and the trailer was kind of amazing. Not sure how well this will fair commercially, as it might not be the cup of tea for most mainstream moviegoers (then again, it's only combination is Paranormal Activity 4), and the Wachowskis haven't exactly been... consistent over the years, but who knows, Redemption Song might just be playing for them this October. I'm tad concerned about how long this will be, but I no matter what, I plan on seeing this.

November

Skyfall:
Release Date: November 9
It's Bond, 'nough said.

Red Dawn:
Release Date: November 21

Mindless action popcorn flick? Almost definitely, but November is usually just such a iffy month for me with movies that I think by Thanksgiving I'll be fine with shutting off my brain for some mindless all American badassery. Plus, it's got some good actors, such as Thor, Jeffery Dean Morgan, and Josh Hutcherson.

Rise of the Guardians:
Release Date: November 21

Alec Baldwin is the voice of Santa Clause, Captain Kirk (the new one, I mean) is Jack Frost. Need I say more? Okay, I will say more; this looks like a wonderfully, albeit weirdly, fun romp with one hell of a voice cast, and if it really comes down to it, I might see this over Red Dawn. Time will tell. Historically, I know I haven't been too nice with animations, but hey, better late then never.

December:

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey:
Release Date: December 14

It's the Hobbit, man, of course I'm gonna see this. I've gotta feeling that this might just take the number spot on the top ten movies of 2012 list I'll end up doing. I mean seriously, you've got Bilbo Baggins being played by John Watson from Sherlock going on an adventure with Gandalf played by Magneto to retrieve the treasure stolen from him by the dragon Smaug played by Sherlock Holmes himself (and maybe Kahn, but that has yet to be confirmed...). Nerdgasm aside, this looks great. I have a slight hesitation now that I know the Hobbit will be a trilogy, because that could lead to it feeling disjointed or stretched out, but no matter, I can personally promise a review of this movie, and probably reviews for the other LOTR movies before it comes out.

All in all, September and October look to be pretty slim pickings as usual, November, of all months, looks like the most solid, and December has the Hobbit.

Thanks for reading, be sure to comment, subscribe, all that good stuff.

Fall TV Preview

Alright, the fall TV season will soon be upon us, and to get ready, I'm going to prep you guys and what shows will be at least sort of covered by OSN this season. I'm going by network, covering both new and returning shows. A little heads up, I won't be talking about any mid-season replacements. I'll deal with those mid-season (the only decent looking ones are Zero Hour and the Following, and I've gotta funny feeling those are both gonna get the axe). Let's get started.

CBS

Person of Interest:
Premier Date: Thursday, September 27
Last season ended with a grade-A cliffhanger, and the show just kept getting better with each episode, so yeah I'm pumped for season 2. I admit, I was skeptical of the show at first, but eventually I was won over by the pure awesomeness of watching Ben Linus and Jesus team up to fight crime. And then Elias and Root showed up, and I just found out that Ken Leung (the guy who played Miles the ghost whisperer in LOST) is gonna be in the season two premier, and the machine might become and actual character, and I am rambling right now. The bottom line is that I'm excited for this show. I probably won't review every episode though, just the ones I deem "important", sort of like what I do for WH13.

Elementary:
Premier Date: Thursday, September 27
I know I've voiced my extreme disgust with this blatant rip off what's arguably the best show on TV right now in the recent past, but I do plan on watching the pilot episode. I might even right a review of it. This is for two reasons: one, I make it a policy not to judge shows I haven't actually seen, so at the very least, when I roast this, I want to do it honestly. Second, it's not really fair not to. Also, in case your wondering, I'm not offended by the fact that Watson's going to be a girl (but did they REALLY have to cast someone from Charlie's Angels?), nor do I despise remakes. I loved Amazing Spider-Man, and usually when we yanks remake a British show, I'm actually interested to see what they do with it. But we should be clear that this isn't a remake, it's a ripoff. I've seen several videos in which the producers have been trying to pass this off as their own idea, which is really annoying.

ABC

Last Resort:
Premier Date: Thursday, September 27 (big night, huh?)
Government conspiracy? Nuclear nations? World War 3?! Those are some of the things that make Last Resort probably the most ambitious new series of the year. While I can't shake the feeling that it's almost too ambitious for network TV, I'm still pretty pumped for this. It just looks exciting and big and awesome, all the necessities of life. Plus, it's got tons of awesome actors, and did I mention that it looks awesome.

The CW

Supernatural:
Premier Date: Wednesday, October 3
I'll admit I was a tad hesitant about an eight season of a show that's starting to show the signs of being on air for a really long time, but then again I think we all were. However, new show runner Jeremy Carver has taken the reigns and promised a lot of cool stuff, among which is a "reset" of the show's mythology (thought that could mean a couple of things), and, wait for it, a multi-season story arc that ideally take the Bros Winchester all the way to season ten. That's right, season ten. SPN is attempting to follow in the footsteps of it's older brother Smallville and go for a decade spanning run, which really intrigues me. What will this 3 year arc be, and how will it play out. Will it help get Dean and Cas out of Purgatory? We'll have to wait till October to find out, and for the time being, I'm excited.

Arrow:
Premier Date: Wednesday, October 10
Apparently in there first year without Smallville, the CW realized that they need a super hero show. That's where Arrow, a new take the DC hero Green Arrow, comes into play. The trailers look pretty badass, and it's already been confirmed that quite a few DC players will show up in Starling City, along with Doctor Who and Torchwood alum John Barrowman, whose role has yet to be specified (I think he's Batman). If Arrow lives up to expectations, it and SPN might just make for one hell of a Wednesday night.


NBC

A quick note: Grimm season 2 premiered a few weeks ago, so no, I don't plan on talking about it.

Revolution:
Premier Date: Monday, September 17
You damn well better believe I'm excited for this show! We're talking Iron Man director Jon Favreau, SPN creator Eric Kripke, and prince of awesome JJ Abrams as brain trust. Series Creator Kripke has described the show as a mythic quest, ala Lord of the Rings or Star Wars, only it takes place on the American road post-global blackout, and I find that idea alone really interesting, especially when coupled with the concept. My only hesitation is that it has a female protagonist, and don't get the wrong idea, I'm all for that, but Kripke  has, historically speaking, had a tough time writing for female characters.

AMC:

The Walking Dead:
Premier Date: Sunday, October 11
The first time I saw TWD, my first thought after I got over how awesome it was was "this would be great with swords...". And then Michonne shows up, and I'm just like "ah hell yeah!" The Governor/Woodbury story arc sounded cool on paper, and then I see the actual trailer for the season, and now I'm really excited. At the very least, I'm hoping this will be better then season 2. At the very best, this will be the highlight of the TV season. Here's hoping (that Lori will finally die).

BBC

Doctor Who:
Premier Date: Saturday, September 1
There's an episode called Dinosaurs on a Spaceship. 'Nough said.

That's all from me for now, I'll probably do my fall movie preview tomorrow, but in the mean time, be sure to comment, subscribe, all that good stuff!

Grimm: Bad Moon Rising Review

So when I found out that Mark Pelligrino was going to be in this episode, my first thought was "So is this going to be Jacob Mark Pelligrino, you know, island deity, embodiment of all that's good, or is it going be, well, Satan Mark Pelligrino?"

Hey guys, I'm back, and I was debating whether or not I should review this episode, because there wasn't really much to talk about, but I decided that I will. I'm also gonna do something knew: I'm gonna divide the review into the three main points of the episode.

Point #1: Coyotl Family Values:
As villains of the week went, the inbred hick clan that could potentially be like Monroe's cousins were okay. As awesome as the creatures from Game Ogre or Organ Grinder, no, but those are arguable the best monsters of the week the show has produced thus far, so using them as the standard isn't exactly fair. Still, I felt like the writers could of done a better job of portraying them, because it is a relatively cool premise. As far Marky Mark Pelligrino (neither Jacob or Satan) went, he was good and it's always nice to have him around (his very presence boosted SPN season 7 significantly), but anyone could've played the part he was assigned. So, bit of a let down.

Point #2: Hank:
Last week, I was so proud of the writers for not going for a cop out with Juliet's amnesia. Pride retracted. We start of with the jittery, nervous Hank from the final minutes of the season 1 finale, you know, the Hank we were interested in seeing, but by the end of the episode, he basically respawns and everything's fine with him again. He even knows Nick's secret. So what would've made a more interesting story line for him this week, you ask? This: Hank stays jittery and nervous for the whole episode, and that causes him to jeopardize the case and he winds up getting someone killed, and Nick has to tell him the big secret to stop him from doing something even more stupid. That, to me, would've been much more interesting.

Point #3: Juliet:
Not really much to say about this one, other then that we now know that Nick has been specifically edited out of Juliet's memory, and there are some implications that come with that, such as is that what Adalind had in mind when she made the potion, and if so, for what purpose? Long story short, I like where that seems to be going.

Overall, this episode was kind of a let down. Granted, after last weeks finish to the brilliant three part episode and arguably the best thing the show's done so far, most anything will seem a tad disappointing, but that's no excuse for shoddy writing quality.

Final Rating: 74%

Also, in case you're wondering where my review of last night's Warehouse 13 is, I didn't write a review of that, because, frankly, there wasn't much to talk about.

Top 10 TV Show Casts

Okay, I know it's been awhile since I've done a top ten list, but I'm back, don't worry. I also know that this might sound like an obscure topic for a list, but bear with me; the cast can and most often will make or break a show. Are the actors good? Do they have good chemistry? Can you tolerate, let alone like, any of these characters? Those are the questions I asked myself when writing this.

A little heads up, in order to be eligible, the main cast must consist of at least four characters. In other words, sorry to The X Files, Sherlock, and Supernatural, but you didn't make the cut with your two leads (as awesome as they are). Doctor Who couldn't make the cut either because it's cast gets totally revamped every five years, so including it would be pretty confusing. Also, Arrested Development is not on this list because I haven't seen it.

10. Chuck
Starring:
Zachary Levi
Yvonne Starhovski (probably spelled that wrong)
Adam Baldwin
Joshua Gomez
Sarah Lancaster
Ryan McPartlin
Mark Christopher Lawrence
Vik Sahay
Scott Krinsky
Bonita Friedericy



What is the nerdiest show of all time? Many would argue the Big Bang Theory or the Guild. But I'm gonna have to say it's this; Chuck is the dramatically funny story of a nerd who becomes a boy who becomes a man who becomes a spy. Every character basically starts out as a (spy) movie cliche -the hitman, the femme fatale, the guy they're protecting, the worried sibling, and the moronic friend. Over the course of the show, they become somewhat human. And damn if it wasn't funny. All these actors are perfect for there roles, and they have what this show needed above all else: chemistry and comedic timing. What did Morgan say that didn't make you chuckle? Name one time Chuck and Sarah's relationship felt forced? When was Casey not awesome other then when he was praising Nixon? Plus, Jeff and Lester. 'Nuff said. Truth be told, the cast was the only thing the show had going for it in the horrendously bad final season.

9. Misfits (for the first two seasons, I mean)
Starring:
Robert Sheehan
Iwan Rheon
Lauren Socha
Antonia Thomas
Nathan Stewart-Jarret
Mathew McNulty


Imagine a show where you hate all of the characters. Now imagine that I'm not talking about It's Always Sunny In Philidelphia (didn't make the list, sorry). You've got Misfits, the darkly comedic story of five juvenile delinquents doing community service who get super powers after a being struck by lighting. And like I said, you pretty much hate all of them. You have Nathan, who takes sarcasm and foul-mouthedness to whole new levels, weird kid Simon, crude girl Kelly, hot girl Alisha, and Curtis. Oh, and the Super-Hoodie, don't forget about him. They're hilarious somehow, but you really can't stand them. These are the kinds of people who if you knew in real life, you'd punch in face. Granted, they do grow on you after a little bit, to the point where they seem slightly less awful. All these actors are great at being bad, too, and they work well together. I said up above "for the first two seasons", because Nathan left after season two, and season 3 just wasn't very good. And they've lost almost all of their original cast for season 4, so I doubt I'll even watch it. But the first two seasons were awesome in that weird way you can't describe.

8. That 70s Show
Starring:
Topher Grace
Mila Kunis
Ashton Kutcher
Danny Masterson
Laura Prepon
Wilmer Valderrama



If it was a 70s trope, one of these guys fit it. The comedic timing these actors had was almost unbelievable and you could actually believe that these people behave like this in real life. Plus, Tommy Chong!

7. Leverage
Starring:
Timothy Hutton
Gina Bellman
Christian Kane
Aldis Hodge
Beth Riesgraf



"Dammit Hardison!" "Dammit Elliot!" I know I've done my share of bagging on procedurals in the past, but this is the exception. And honestly, it was because of the cast, which includes some of the best actors on TV (Timothy Hutton anyone) giving there roles there all, and have pretty amazing chemistry. It's a show like no other, with characters like Hutton's generally drunken genius Nate Ford, Hodge's quirky, almost unbelievable nerdy computer hacker Hardison, Riesgraf's almost cartoonishly deluded thief Parker, and Kane's guy-who-could-kill-Dexter Morgan-but-won't Elliot. The only underdeveloped character is Bellman's Sophie, but in a show with this much personality and where an entire episode can't go by without everyone having a one-liner, someone is gonna get sold short. But the show's still awesome, or at least it was until season 4. But hey, that's TNT for you.

6. 30 Rock
Starring:
Tina Fey
Tracey Morgan
Jane Krakowski
Jack McBrayer
Scott Adsit
Judah Frielander
and Alec Baldwin



In case the words Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey didn't explain why this cast is awesome already, you've also Tracey Morgan playing himself but with a different last name, Kenneth, the man who's parents are technically brothers (no idea how that one works), the embodiment of wannabe stardom Jenna Maroney, and the unsung hero of the show, Dot Com! Everyone here rules, acts there ass off each episode, and at the very least make each other look funny.

5. The Office (through season 7 anyway)
Starring:
Steve Carrel
Rainn Wilson
John Krasinski
Jenna Fischer
Ed Helms
BJ Novak
Creed Bratton


Like Misfits, the show more or less fell to pieces after they lost the annoying wad of glue that held them together (Steve Carrel). But for the first seven seasons, the show boasted one of the best ensembles ever. Even when the episode sucked, the characters, played by some pretty hilarious people, could salvage things at least a little bit by being awesome. I'd give some examples, but seeing how this is probably the most quotable sitcom of all time, I'd probably start rambling. I'll say this though: Dwight, Creed, and Darryl are all winning.

4. Angel
Starring:
David Boreanaz
Charisma Carpenter
Glenn Quinn
Alexis Dennisof 
J. August Richards
Amy Acker
Vincent Kartheiser
Andy Hallet
James Marsters



What started out as a three-character show quickly garnered an ensemble of well-nuansed, multi-layered characters. Seriously, the attention to character was awesome; the show killed off one of its leads ten episodes in, an the fan base collectively weeped. We shouldn't have cared that much, we barely knew the character, but the show made us care. It also took two characters you start out hating and makes you love them right up to the point where they get killed off. A lot of people died. All of these actors had great chemistry, and you really were rooting for them, even when they were all dying.

3. Seinfeld
Starring:
Jerry Seinfeld
Julia Louis Dreyfuss
Michael Richards
 and Jason Alexander as George



Does this really require explanation?

2. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Starring:
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Nicholas Brendon
Alyson Hannigan
Charisma Carpenter
David Boreanaz
Seth Green
James Marsters
Mark Blucas
Emma Caulfield
Michelle Trachtonberg
Amber Benson
And Anthony Stewart Head as Giles



No one knows how to do an ensemble quite like Joss Whedon. The best known of his brain children featured constantly rotating cast of characters who you really felt for. Seriously, I don't think I've ever cared as much about a bunch of fictional characters as I have with this show, which is good, because at a certain point, if you don't care about these people, the whole show will be lost on you. But you'll care, trust me. And like Angel, by the time the show's over, a lot of them are totally different people. The cast's chemistry is always perfect too, probably because a lot of these people are best friends in real life...

1. LOST
Starring:
Matthew Fox
Evangeline Lily
Jorge Garcia
Terry O'Quinn
Naveen Andrews
Josh Holloway
Ian Somerhalder
Maggie Grace
Harold Perrineau
Malcolm David Kelley
Emilie de Ravin
Yunjin Kim
Daniel Dae Kim
Dominic Monaghan
Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (can't pronounce that either)
Michelle Rodriguez
Cynthia Watros
Henry Ian Cusick
Michael Emmerson
Elizabeth Mitchell
Kiele Sanchez
Rodrigo Santoro
Jeremy Davies
Ken Leung
Rebecca Mader
Nestor Carbonell
Jeff Fahey
Zuleikha Robinson


That's a lot of characters, I know. You'd think with this many series regulars, the show couldn't have possibly given them all equal screen time and development, right? WRONG! Pretty much the entire first season of the show, and a lot of the second, was used for character exposition and development. How'd they do it? Flashbacks. Literally every series regular had an episode centered around them in terms of flashbacks. No one is without layers, complexities, and vices. Some have tried to argue that LOST is the greatest show ever. I think that at the very least, it can be said that it's the greatest show ever in terms of characters, because they make everyone interesting. Some of these people, such as Desmond Hume, Mr. Eko, Daniel Faraday, John Locke, Ben Linus, Richard Alpert, and Juliet Burke, are some of my favorite characters from anything, ever. And when someone dies, which happens a lot, you really feel it. The actors are so good (I lost track of how many of them won Emmies) that you can't help but wonder why more of these people aren't huge movie stars. The show also had a habit of creating characters who served no purpose other then to die comically-like Frogurt!

What do you think killed him:

the arrow, or the irony?

This show was awesome for many reasons, and the characters were absolutely one of them. And as a result, only LOST could take the number one spot on this list.

So, what's your favorite TV show cast? Comment below, let me know

New Rating System

Hey everybody, just a heads up about something; I've decided I wanna spice up my reviews a little bit, you know, make them a bit more fun, so I've created a new ratings system.

A little not though, the rating system will only apply to movie reviews. For TV show reviews, I'll still be doing the percentage ratings. But for movies, we get these.

We'll go from worst to best rank:

It Can Go Die In A Hole: ex.: Transformers 2 Can Go Die In A Hole.

It Didn't Suck, But Do Not Pay To See It: ex. Apollo 18 Didn't Suck, But Do Not Pay To See It.

It's a Fun Way to Kill a Few Hours: ex. Total Recall 2012 Is a Fun Way to Kill a Few Hours.

It's A Movie Night Classic: ex. Cloverfield is a Movie Night Classic.

I Saw it, and There Was Much Rejoicing: ex. I Saw Inception, and There Was Much Rejoicing!

So, that's the new movie rating system. What'd you think of it? Comment below, let me know!

As always, comment, subscribe, check out my other posts, all that good stuff!

Falling Skies Season 2 Review

You know, there was more then one occasion over the course of the season when Tom was trying to convince people of something, and I wanted him to say "Trust me, I'm a doctor." Of course if he was in this reality we probably wouldn't need Anne and we can't have that.

With the season finale over and done, it's time to look at the second season of TNT's post-apocalyptic drama as a whole. Note: Spoilers for the whole season.

So, the season starts off with a bang; I mean that literally to, one of the first scenes is an explosion in this huge fight. The 2nd Mass is keeping up the good fight without Tom for three months due to his abduction by the enemy. And then Tom shows up and Ben shoots him by mistake. They bring him back and they heal him up, but they find and alien parasite in his eye, leading some people- cough Pope- not to trust him. The whole "should we trust Tom," thing was cool, they just didn't use it enough. It was over after three episodes. It would've been an awesome ongoing dynamic, you know, divide the 2nd Mass, but the writers went for the cop out. Tom also lead to the show breaking it's no flashback rule, which I loved. Flashbacks go really well with this show.

While Tom was gone, Ben officially joined the 2nd Mass, and he... well, he hasn't just stepped up, he's basically turned into a post-apocalyptic Captain America. I'm serious. He's super strong, fast, he can swim ridiculously well, he's got super hearing, he can jump off of buildings, all because of his spikes, and he's using all this to fight the Skitters. Ironic, he's using his powers, which are the whole reason he wants to fight, to kill the reason he has his powers. Anyway, his story line this year was awesome; he questions what he is, where he belongs, and what he should do, and it goes to some really cool places, like the Skitter rebellion.

Ah, the Skitter rebellion. Headed by the Red-Eyed Skitter who we initially no nothing about other then that he put the parasite in Tom, the rebellion is exactly what you'd think it is. It leads to some cool stuff, most notably the fight in which Tom becomes Tom the Overlord Slayer, but more on that later. So yeah, rebellion was cool, but again, they could've done more with it.

As we can expect, the season gave us some character drama like last season. And like last season, that's where it started to feel bogged down. Episode four, Young Bloods, was almost entirely character drama, specifically between Weaver and his long lost daughter, and it was cringe-inducing quite a bit. I'm not some shallow jerk who only wants explosions, but seriously, the dialogue between Weaver and little Weaver was SO CHEESY. I mean, to the point where I can't even type it without vomiting. There was also some relationship drama to be found in Tom and Anne, plus Hal and Maggie. The Hal-Maggie one I've got no issues with; the actors have good chemistry and they work well together. Granted, it's been obvious that they would eventually get together, and they probably spent too much time on it, which is weird because it's set up like it'll end with one of them dying (probably Maggie). Tom and Anne though, it just doesn't work. The actors have no chemistry at all, so there relationship doesn't seem even remotely natural. To top it off, another show has given into the apparent fetish long running dramas have with pregnancy story lines. And I'll give you a hint: Maggie's not the one having the kid.

As far as Charleston went when they finally arrived, it was cool, but, yet again, not enough screen time was spent on it, especially seeing how Terry O'Quinn was there. And then we've got the so-so season finale, which ends with a couple of kickass cliffhangers by way of Evil Hal and the arrival a new alien who looks suspiciously like Thanos...

The best episodes of the season were Worlds Apart, Compass, Homecoming, Molon Labe, and the Price of Greatness. The worst ones were Young Bloods and Love and Other Acts of Courage. I have mixed feelings about the rest of the episodes. As a whole season 2 was better then season 1, but the show just never feels as awesome as it should. The ideas and concepts are there, but the show doesn't always do it in terms of characters and stories. The best way to describe FS is probably "It has it's moments". But damn if those aren't good moments.

Final Rating: 82%

So, Falling Skies season 2: Have you seen it, what'd you think of it? Comment below, let me know!

Episode Reviewed: Grimm: The Kiss

I was gonna mention this is my review of last week's episode, but I forgot, so I'll say it now: the new intro really sucks.

Note: Spoilers 

Okay so Nick lives, surprise surprise. The episode starts off with the fight between Nick and the Mauvais Dentes. Mama Grimm joins in halfway through. And let me tell you, it was badass. This was honestly, one of the cooler fights the show's had thus far. It wasn't as epic as when Nick took at two Reapers (I'm not sure if we'll be able to top that anytime soon...), but it was still awesome. Probably the episode's high point, to be honest. After that, we go to wake up sleeping beauty. Literally. But it wasn't what I expected. I doubt anyone expected that Renard was somehow gonna be able to wake her up, but I liked that he did, and the implications for that are interesting (is she gonna fall for him now...).

Let's talk for a moment about Renard, who was awesome this time around; we sort of get answers about him, but not really. The only definitive thing we learn about the guy is that he's illegitimate. He looks like he could sort of be a Wessen, one who is usually in control, but Mama Hexenbeast describes him as barely human. My theory is that he's half human, half Wessen, and since he is a prince, the result of the King being unfaithful with something unusual. Anyway, he was cool in this one, and we see some more of his brother James Frain (True Blood), and that was good too.

I also need to give the writers some props: they didn't go for the convenient cop out we were all dreading in Juliet not remembering Nick's Grimm-ness: she doesn't remember him at all. I liked that too, and I think it can go places. It's not specified if she's only lost memory of Nick or if it's total amnesia. We'll find out next week. It could be really good to, because Juliet will FINALLY be given something to do. I'm not saying she like some of the other heroes girlfriends/wives (by which I mean somewhere between annoying and infuriating), aka Lori from the Walking Dead, but she's always just kind of...  been there. Giving her something to do will be an improvement.

Other episode high points: the mama fight between Mama Grimm and Mama Hexenbeast; epic in more ways then one, and just plain cool. Awkward car ride between Monroe, Rosalie, and MG was pretty darn funny.

The only part of the episode I didn't really like was when Nick was briefly in FBI custody. It went nowhere, and felt kind of tacked on. One of the agents does basically say "this isn't over", but for the moment, it's what I like to call a Walt: a story line the show sets up and then does nothing with.

So, the good news is that the episode delivered the payoff, and this three-part story line is worth it. More then that, really, it's the best thing the show's done thus far, and it's proven that multi-episode, long running mysteries suit Grimm much more then case-of-the-week. Let's hope the writers pick up on that.

Final Rating: 90%

Quick Announcement

Okay, so I have a new plan regarding TV reviews: for certain shows, I'll only be reviewing certain episodes, namely the season premier, season finale, and any episodes in between that I deem "significant". Take last night's Warehouse 13 as an example: it was really good (we got to see the birth of an artifact, how awesome is that!), but nothing of huge importance actually happened. If you're wondering why I'm doing this, it's really the only way I can keep my work load manageable in the coming months. Some of you might be upset because this basically means less reviews, and I haven't really put too many out this month (August is a dry month for movies and TV, I'm sorry), but it is what it is.

Falling Skies Season 2 Finale Review

The conclusion I've come to is that Falling Skies is the American equivalent of Primeval: there are plot holes and contrivances everywhere, the characters are flat, it really isn't even that good, and yet we all seem to keep watching it...

Okay, I know I usually avoid spoilers at all costs in my reviews, but today I am screwing it, so SPOILERS for the whole episode. In case you missed that:

*******SPOILERS*******

So, the episode starts directly where the last one left off, which I personally really liked. They haven't done that too much on this show, and I want them to more because it helps with the pacing. But aside from that, the set up from the last episode was that the 2nd Mass has, by mistake, instigated a coup in Charleston. Except that was barely part of what happened, and was completely undone by the end of the episode. Seriously?! Coup story lines are cool; I wanted to see more of that! But no.

So, then Ben and his Rebel Skitter friends show up and tell everyone that they can throw a major monkey wrench into the Overlords's plans by assassinating one of them, but they need help. So, after some initial hostilities and hardcore Not-Cool-Ness from Gen. Bressler, the 2nd Mass gets the green light to go on this suicide mission. But first, we need some emotional character interactions! First we have the cringe-inducing father-daughter dynamic between Weaver and Jean, then we find out Anne is preggers; I wouldn't have a problem with that if it wasn't for two things: long running dramas have some sort of fetish for pregnancy story lines (LOST did one, BSG did one, Doctor Who even did one, Angel did TWO, the Walking Dead's doing one, so forth), and Anne and Tom's relationship has never seemed very natural. The actors have pretty much no chemistry, so it's felt tacked onto the whole season.

I probably sound like some sort of super critic all of the sudden two, and don't get the wrong idea, there were good moments in the mix of this: Tector's interaction with Pope (who's been severely underused this season) and company, Hal and Ben's little brotherly bonding moment, and Tom even had a one-liner.

But then we get to the alien station thing that we never really get a name for, and that was the highlight of the episode. Seriously, they should have spent more time with this. They get there, guns are fired, Skit is hitting the fan, I'm enjoying myself, and then Creeptastic Karen shows up, ties them all up, and starts torturing them for information. Jessy Schram does a great job of playing this part, and the whole sequence was just enjoyable as a whole because it was, especially because of the different reactions to the torture by the characters (and frankly, if it Karen hadn't been the one to really creepily tell Tom his lady friend was pregnant, there was no way that news would've been pleasant to watch), and when Karen makes out with Hal putting him into a coma. And then the Rebel Skitters show up (but not before Dai dies), more Skit hits the fan, guns are fired, and Tom Mason goes from man to Overlord Slayer! Mission accomplished, right?

Then we get back to Charleston, Hal wakes up and we get introduced to Evil Hal, which is something I'm really looking forward to seeing next season. And then the big cliffhanger: the city shakes, making Tom the Overlord Slayer and the rest of the populace rush outside to see a whole new type of alien who looks weirdly like Thanos (apparently FS takes place within the Marvel Cinematic Universe, now we just have to wait for Thor to show up and kill all the aliens), and the season ends.

So, good episode as a whole, mostly because of the events at Skitter station, they have pretty good cliffhangers in place for season 3, which I do look forward too. But, contrivances, conveniences, bad character interactions, and the under use of both Pope and Terry O'Quinn dragged this episode down a lot.

Final Rating: 84%

Episode Reviewed: Grimm: Bad Teeth

Awkward family reunion much?

In A Nutshell:
Picking up right where season 1 left off, Nick has been reunited with his long thought dead but thoroughly badass mother. That's right, Ma Burkhardt! So Nick has to deal with that and a new Wessen called the Mauvais Dentes AND the fact that Juliette's still in coma. Monroe and Rosalie are working on that, you can only imagine what happens when they meet Ma Burkhardt. Hank, guess what, is still unstable. Renard is on edge too about what appears to be some awkward family time of his own.

The Good:
Nick deals with the fact that his mom is basically back from the dead in a pretty realistic way (I use that term loosely, seeing how this kind of thing doesn't really happen, at least not to anyone I know), so it was good that he wasn't immediately going "Mom, you're back!" Granted, he gets over it pretty quickly, but cut the guy some slack, he's seen some weird stuff, so this might not be too shocking for him. Nick and his mom were the focus of the episode, and there are some good moments between them (no, I don't mean Supernatural family bonding angst moments), some funny, some very cool, most notably when they're in the trailer and... I won't give away too much, but let me just say that the plot thickens, and for people who think Grimm doesn't do enough with it's own universe, the mythos are pretty dense at this point. Nick also has a pretty BA encounter with Adalind's mother midway through. It wasn't quite as epic as the "you no longer sell human organs!" bit from season one, but it was still cool. The main purpose of the episode, though, is to keep things moving for the next episode. Here's the thing: I personally like that Grimm is going for more long term stories, but there are going to be people who complain that this feels like half an episode, which is true to an extent. In order for this three part story to work, next week needs to have some major pay off, and by that I mean badass fight scenes and a good, solid climax. If the next episode can do that, then the last two eps will have been worth it, and this will all go down as the best thing the show's done so far. If not... let's try not to think about that. In other news, Monroe (is that guy ever gonna get a last name) was Monroe-ish, and Wu (is that guy ever gonna get a first name) was Wu-ish. Overall, I'll say that the season's off to a strong start.

The Bad:
It's the same deal as the season 1 finale in that what was wrong with the episode was that it was only 45 minutes long, but I already talked about that above. Also, pretty much everyone except Nick and Ma Burkhardt felt underused this go round, especially Monroe, Rosalie, and the recently unstable and finally interesting Hank.

Final Rating: 90%

Episode Reviewed: Warehouse 13: There's Always a Downside

Never have truer words been spoke on this show.

In A Nutshell:
As Artie has another encounter with Brother Data, Pete and Claudia help the warehouse's honorary crazy uncle Hugo with an artifact incident at his nephew's prep school, and Myka and Steve deal with, well, basically a therapist being put out of business, in New Orleans, and it seems to have something to do with a nearby jazz club.

The Good:
Highlight of episode was easily Artie and his continuing interactions with Brother Adrian; it escalates in this episode as secrets are spilled and the story is most definitely advanced. Saul Rubinek and Brent Spiner have good chemistry as actors, too, which helps with selling the idea that (expletive removed) is going down. If only they'd given this story a bit more screen time. I also thought that Artie switching up the usual teams was interesting too, mostly because these characters wouldn't interact one-on-one otherwise, so that was good. Pete and Steve's investigation in New Orleans was cool too, and if it had gotten a bit more screen time, it honestly might have been one of the better artifact of the week stories. And Hugo's presence is always welcomed. I'll also say that, at this point, WH13 has more or less perfected the "serialized procedural" format, which seems to work pretty well for it.

The Bad:
Pete and Claudia's prep school mystery was easily the weakest of the three stories going on this week. It just wasn't interesting or all that good, and frankly, who actually wants to watch a bunch of overly stressed prep school boys snap? The biggest problem the episode suffered from was the fact that it was doing three stories at once. Nothing got enough screen time, which was a shame, because two of these stories were good. Had the writers only done two stories in this episode, I think we all would've had a much better time with it.

Final Rating: 81%

Movie Reviewed: The Bourne Legacy

Think of this as the unofficial Hawkeye origin story.

Hey guys, I'm sorry I'm so late with this review, I just haven't gotten around to seeing the movie until now. I get that this is completely unprofessional, but it is what it is.

In A Nutshell:
Jeremy Renner is Aaron Cross, an Outcome agent who starts being hunted down, along with the scientist, Marta Shearing, who did the genetic modification to him, by the man after the Jason Bourne incident threatens to go public, forcing the man to shut down, which means kill off everyone involved in, Outcome. So, Aaron and Marta have to go on the run together and we have our movie.

The Good:
Like I said, Hawkeye origin story movie, i.e., Jeremy Renner was great. I actually said this in my review of the Avengers: "he's a great actor who's been in tons of movies I've seen lately in supporting roles, he's always a badass, and I'm really looking forward to seeing him in Bourne." And I was right to say that because he did an awesome job; not only was he badsass, but he just played his part well all around. Rachel Weisz was great here too, heck, the movie was well cast in general. I think the set-up for the movie was good too, because it takes a little time to really get going, but then when it does it's VERY badass. What I mean is, it eases it's way in at first, and then takes a full on swan dive. You follow? The bottom line is that this is a good time of a movie. And something I've noticed most critics aren't really addressing about the movie is the way it expands the Bourne Universe, which I love. It shows you that there is more happening in this world then just Jason Bourne, and I like that. Plus, it leaves the door opened for a sequel, and Matt Damon has actually said he will be in Bourne 5 if it happens, and you know you want it to happen; how epic would that be? Jason Bourne and Aaron Cross throwing down TOGETHER! So yeah, pumped about the idea of a sequel.

The Bad:
The biggest mistake you can make with this movie is trying to compare it to the other Bourne movies; no, it's not as good, but try to avoid that comparison if you wanna get some real enjoyment out of this. My biggest problem is that, at times, the movie borders on generic spy flick. It's not Mission Impossible 2 generic (nothing is quite that bad), but there were moments when I just felt that I'd seen this before. There were also a few things that happened that felt kind of plot-convenient, which is never good, but I was able to get over them. Another thing is that you can't shake that lingering feeling that this exist just so they can CPR the franchise and make a Bourne 5.

Final Rating: 87%

So, what's your favorite Bourne movie? Comment below, let me know!

Episode Reviewed: Falling Skies: The Price of Greatness

Rule #1 Tom: One does not piss of John Locke! He will go boar hunter on your ass!

In A Nutshell:
Having finally arrived in Charleston, which looks weirdly like the City of Ember, the 2nd Mass can finally settle down. Oh wait, no they can't, because apparently Charleston is under the control of the spineless one and couldn't be in a much worse position. Just take a wild guess about how things go from here.

The Good:
I saw the promo for this one, and pretty much instantly I thought "it'll be like the Walking Dead season 1 finale: everything will be good for the first 10-15 minutes, and then *beep* starts going down". To an extent, that was kind of true; ten minutes of feel good, then our heroes realize that they're in, well, the City of Ember, and I liked that. I thought they did a great job of showing how Charleston is one of those things that shouldn't work and just barely does, but does none the less. I liked how they gave us what's wrong with this alleged paradise pretty quickly, and that makes our heroes take reasonable, by their standards anyway, measures. The episode basically was just set-up for episode ten, which apparently is going to be pretty epic, and that was a smart move: get us excited and make all of this happen under the right circumstances. And they did a good job of that, because now I'm excited for the finale. The always welcomed presence of LOST alum and all around awesome actor Terry O' Quinn, playing an interesting character filled with delusions of grandeur, and the way the writers and directors constructed the out of touch, complacent Charleston helped too.

The Bad:
I didn't really find anything wrong with the episode, save for some minor inconsistencies regarding Tector, but that's not really important. Some might be bothered by the fact that we've gone two episodes with pretty much no action, but I doubt it, given the fact that they're setting up for the season finale, in which, judging by the promo, plenty of guns are fired.

Final Rating: 89%

Episode Reviewed: Warehouse 13: Personal Effects

I would put a joke here, but the episode stole them all!

In A Nutshell:
The team races across... North Dakota (?) to find the missing artifacts from Sykes arsenal.

The Good:
Sykes' artifact stash was the last major loose end from season 3 in need of tying up, and this was probably the best way to do it. It was just a lot of fun to watch everyone scramble around looking for a bunch of artifacts at once, and most of said artifacts were pretty awesome. We also got a nice little shout out to the Dead Agent Vault. This week's guest star whose name escapes me did an awesome job in his role, and the episodes conclusion was heartwrenchingly good. The special effects were improved just enough, which was needed after last week's rather dreadful step back in the CGI department (when Grimm's CGI looks better then yours, you know something's wrong). The season's overall plot was enhanced a tad as well, which is always nice. Take all that and throw in the show's usual brand of witty, tongue-and-cheek one-liners (Artie: A jew and a black woman walk into a country club... all we need is a horse and we've got the whole joke!).

The Bad:
A couple of mistakes this week included giving our fairly sympathetic antagonist THE most cliched backstory of all time, and a couple of the jokes being cheesy to the point where you can't help but put you're hand on your face and groan (Steve: I'm gay. Female Clerk: Oh my God do you watch Revenge!)

Final Rating: 88%

Episode Reviewed: Falling Skies: Death March

Unconventionalism! Woo!

In A Nutshell:
As the 2nd Mass continues to move towards Charleston, we take a step back see them driving there, as we learn new things about old friends, and Matt befriends as harnessed girl they find on the road.

The Good:
Having a whole episode that basically revolves around characters having conversations while they drive was a calculated risk, but in the end I'd say it was a smart move. Granted, if this is the first time you've ever watched the show, my condolences, as this would not only make no sense but kind of suck. But for the rest of us, this actually a breath of fresh air, as new layers are added to Maggie (, 2 Gun), a character we already did care about, and, wait for it, Tector, who most of us disregarded, but, as it turns out, not only is he interesting, but important! (then again, if the show wants to compete with the Walking Dead, they need at least one badass redneck). My theories is that Tector will do something wicked heroic in the season 2 finale, and Hal and Maggie will endure right up to the point where one them is heartlessly killed off (probably Maggie). You've got that and a pretty kickass double-twist ending! That's right, double-twist!

The Bad:
I liked most of the episode, but the Matt's interaction with harness-girl fell a bit flat for me personally. It just wasn't interesting. I see how it'll be relevant in coming episodes, but at the moment, it felt pretty tacked on.

Final Rating: 86%

Movie Reviewed: Total Recall (2012)

So this is a remake of a Schwarzenegger movie that's based off of a short story by Philip K. Dick. So either way, if you're looking to protest the lack of original movies going around Hollywood lately, avoid this movie like the plague.

In A Nutshell:
So Colin Farrel plays Douglas Quaid, a guy in the depressing as hell dystopian future, has a pretty gorgeous wife (Kate Beckinsale), and works a crappy job on an assembly line. He's supposed to be the embodiment of stressed out workers (let me put it this way: if he wasn't going to recall, he'd be going to fight club). But then he does go to recall to have fake memories put in place as a bit of stress relief, and after that he winds up on the run from the evil government (headed by Walter "Heisenberg" White/ Hal Wilkerson(?)/ that racist jackass from Red Tails) as it becomes increasingly apparent that he's a spy, like when he takes out ten armed men without flinching and then his wife starts trying to kill him. From that point on, it's a pretty nonstop ride, in which he has to team up with Jessica Biel (see, you're life is good man!). But is it real, or is it all just the fake memories recall put in his head?

The Good:
I went into this expecting an intense action movie, and that is what I got. And then some. I mean every single action sequence is perfectly choreographed and shot and it is awesome. The movie starts off as about twenty or so minutes of set-up, in which you're kind of waiting for stuff to start hitting the fan, and when it does, it's a near-nonstop ride to the finish. Some the scenes were wicked intense, and that really helped with the kick-ass, perfectly shot action, which is the bulk of the movie. I also give mad props to the director, Len Wiseman, the cinematographers, and the special effects crew for creating this great futuristic visual, full of top-notch effects and intensity. If nothing else, you can say that this movie is amazing to look at. The acting here was also great; Colin Farrel, who I haven't seen much of before, proves he's got the chops by being both badass and exasperated at the same time. Everyone else does a good job with what they're given.

The Bad:
I haven's seen the Arnie version, nor have I read the short story (but I want to do both now), so I'm not doing a comparison. I think the biggest problem I had with the movie is that it sort of goes for style over substance. They have an awesome premise here, that is never really explored or fleshed out as much as it feels like it should be, and as a result a lot of people will probably mistake this for another mindless actioner. I feel like it would've been better had it been 15-20 minutes longer. Pretty much everyone in this movie besides Colin Farrel is kind of a plot catalyst, whose characters are mostly there to get him from point A to point B. No one did a bad job acting-wise, but no one else really felt important. Also, if you've seen the trailers, you kind of know that this movie's gonna end one of two ways, so that's a bit kill-joy.

Bottom Line:
This is a badass action movie with great acting and awesome special effects and acting that you will have a good time with so long as you don't expect too much.

Final Rating: 85%


So, which Total Recall do you think is better? Comment below, let me know!

ONS Film Hall of Fame Nominees: August 2012

This months nominees are Inception, Cloverfield, Back to the Future, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Be sure to cast your votes in the comment section below.

ONS TV Hall of Fame Nominees: August 2012

This month's nominees are LOST, Smallville, Battlestar Galactica, and Sherlock.

Be sure to cast your votes in the comment section below.